According to sections of the British press – who, let’s be honest, don’t often get carried away like this – Russia is about to launch a full-scale cyberattack on the United Kingdom… or they already have, depending on who you ask. And all because the UK, USA and France launched a missile attack against the Syrian Bashar Assad regime.
If you ask the Express, “Russia is ‘SPYING’ on THOUSANDS of UK households in ‘RETALIATION to Syria strikes.” Apparently, your home could become a part of a Russian “botnet,” used to launch large scale cyber attacks. No explanation was provided as to what a botnet is though… but when you’re whipping the British population into a fearful frenzy, who has time to explain?
A chap named Ciaran Martin is quoted in the Telegraph, the Sun, the Mirror, the Daily Express, and Reuters. Martin is the chief executive of the National Cyber Security Centre, which is part of the GCHQ which does a fair bit of internet spying itself. He says”Russia is our most capable hostile adversary in cyberspace.” So move over, pimply teen that hacked into a CIA chief’s computer from his Leicestershire home. You’ve officially been ousted as the world’s biggest cyber threat.
So, why, oh, why – if Russia has already been hacking into the homes of innocent Brits – has the UK government not done anything about it? In the very same article, the government puts us at ease. Kind of. Well, not really.
“This is yet another example of Russia’s disregard for international norms and global order – this time through a campaign of cyber espionage and aggression, which attempts to disrupt governments and de-stabilize business,” a government spokesperson told the Mirror. “The attribution of this malicious activity sends a clear message to Russia – we know what you are doing and you will not succeed.” Seems like they’re doing a good job so far – the Kremlin must be shaking in their boots.
Apparently, the famously accurate Sun couldn’t decide if Russia had attacked or not though – running a completely contradictory headline just five hours later: “SILENT ASSASSINS: Will there be a Russian cyberattack on the UK, what methods could be used and how would Britain respond?”
Now, if that doesn’t give you faith in the accuracy of Murdoch’s reporters, then we just don’t know what will. Luckily – in case you were on the fence about the Russian hacking crisis, they ran some pretty little graphics to detail to the British public just how screwed both the Syrian and UK populations are.
Thankfully, it tells us that Theresa May can strike back with a cyberattack of her own. So, what will the British press call this attack? MayNet? MayBot 2? Theres-attack? The possibilities are endless.